I’ve said it once, I will say it a million times. I hate it when people ask me what my favorite things are. I immediately panic and my mind goes blank. By now, I should know that I always have to have default answers to questions I know I will get asked on a regular basis. Where are you from? What are your favorite TV Shows? What music do you like? What types of books are you? What type of Asian are you? Luckily, I know that I’m Chinese, so that’s one question that I don’t have to worry about. Yay. I will take a moment to celebrate by throwing dried rice up in the air. Oh, wait. That’s something else. Screw it. I’m throwing dried rice in the air to celebrate my Asianness.
You must want to ask me, “Kenny, how do you not know where you’re from?” Well, it’s complicated. Depending on my mood, I will give a range of answers. I usually just say that I’m from Queens, New York because that is where my heart is. Technically, though, I’m from New Jersey. Eh, it’s close enough. I do have a long-winded answer waiting in the wings for when I want to explain the saga of where I’m from.
For questions regarding my favorite things, I usually just say “A little bit of everything.” Sometimes they leave it at that. Other times, they ask specific question after specific question, and I’m lead down to an existential rabbit hole of awkwardness and regret.
The main reason why I do not like to mention the things I like is because I am a bit cautious about mentioning things that the other person might not be aware of. I always assume that the only shows they know of are Friends and ER and they’re only aware of super-mainstream bands and artists to, like, I don’t know, Madonna, the Rolling Stones or Beyonce. During one such occurrence, I said I liked Billy Joel and Hootie and the Blowfish. They’re fine, but they’re not really an accurate representation of what I like.
So, here I am, putting myself out there. I will essentially have a conversation by myself with the point of asking various “What do you like questions?” If you choose to leave now, I won’t blame you. I’m just hoping I don’t shrivel up and, you know, die.
What kind of music do you like?
Folk, Rock, Pop
How interesting. What are your favorite musicians/bands?
Joshua Radin, The Black Keys, Aerosmith
How about movies. What type of movies do you like?
Pretty much everything except for horror.
That’s a shame. What are your favorite movies?
50/50, Juno, Hot Fuzz
It’s a comedy/drama about a man dealing with cancer.
Sounds sad. Do you watch TV?
Yes, I watch petty much everything.
Oh, great. Like what?
Burn Notice, Dexter, Breaking Bad
What do you like to do for fun?
The usual boring stuff. Writing, Reading, Web Design
Oh, you like to read? What do you like to read?
Pretty much everything. I especially like memoirs and autobiographies.
Can you give me some examples?
Amy Poehler’s book. There are others, but they’re really not well known. I like to read memoirs written by eveyday people.
How wonderful. I have to go now. Goodbye. -scurries off-