Getting the evil eye from that one woman in Ohio whose house is buried under 15 feet of snow and is freezing her butt off.

As we’re approaching the end of the summer, I personally can’t wait to get cooler weather here in Central Florida. Of course, it doesn’t really get that cold here. Most Winters, it doesn’t get much below 40 degrees Fahrenheit here. Of course, I don’t have the backlog of temperatures from the past five Winters next to me. All I have is a half-bottle of Diet Sunkist. I’m sorry to disappoint you if you love data and statistics, but this isn’t the blog for you anyway. I, however, like to satisfy everyone if possible, so here is a video of a man doing a Ted Talk on the analyzing the statistical data of a week’s worth of Ted Talks. Enjoy.

I know most of you are from cold weather areas, and you’re probably thinking, “Kenny, you’re nuts. You live in Florida, and I’m in England. It’s August and it’s 60 degrees, and that’s the best we can hope for. You’re bathing in the sunlight with your post 80 plus degree weather. God, I hate you.” And, yes, I know I’m not being 100 percent accurate here because I’m using Fahrenheit and not Celsius but I’m a lazy Asian American. Sue me.

I’ve always preferred the freezing cold over excruciating heat. I know. I know. Being buried under 15 feet of snow, shoveling through snow every day isn’t fun and wearing 15 layers of clothing isn’t fun, but neither is wanting to die every time you walk out the door and sweating in two seconds. In November.

I, of course, do understand that there are areas with all four seasons with freezing winters and hot summers, but I grew up in New York and the summers were nowhere near as bad as they are here. At this point, I’ve lived in Florida for solong with the humid summers and mild winters that living in a cold weather climate strongly appeals to me, but I don’t truly know how awful it is to live in an area with horrible Winters. I still want to live in an area where it’s November, and I’m not thinking that the weather needs to be colder.

Or maybe I should just bury myself in ice in my bathtub.

OK. This time every woman in the world will hate me…because of my ability to eat cereal.

Commercials. We all hate them. We especially hate them when we’re watching videos on the Internet. OK, fine. If we want to sit on the couch and watch an emotionally exhausting episode of Grey’s Anatomy, we can deal with commercials. But if we want to watch a five minute video, then even a 30-second commercial seems excessive. Yes, there is sometimes an option to skip the commercial, but that isn’t guaranteed. It’s like a game of Russian Roulette. OK, fine.no one is dying from watching commercials, but we feel like we’re dying. Does that count?

Since I do not have a TV, the only commercials that I watch are online. honestly, it’s not that bad compared to TV advertising but, damn, it is annoying when you get a 30 second commercial you can’t skip. Now, with YouTube, if I’m able to click on a link to the commercial, browsing the comments is an added bonus. It’s amusing to me to see people freak out while I’m just sitting here thinking, “Eh, I liked the commercial,” and I continue eating my roast beef sandwich. Here are three such commercials.

The One That Applauds Women for Eating

When I first saw this commercial, I thought it was a simple commercial with a simple message: “Women can do anything.” I approved. A few seconds later, I was like, “Wait, did they just congratulate women for the ability to eat?” I am trying to imagine the dozens of meetings that would have taken place for this commercial to be aired, and I can’t even fathom who thought this was a good idea. Look at my picture. I can eat too, you know. And I’m a man. GASP. And I’m Asian. DOUBLE GASP.

The One That May or May Not Be Racist

I’m not a big fan of these Gorilla Glue commercials, but I find it quite silly that some people actually think that this particular commercial is racist just because the actors are Black. Of course, they don’t find it racist when there are Gorilla Glue commercials with the same concept, but with White actors. I also don’t understand what would make this commercial racist. Something involving her wanting clear glue and not white? Well, first. White glue is usually school glue, and you can’t, like, fix a screen door with White school glue. Stronger glues tend to be clear. I don’t know. I don’t see a problem with it. It’s not like she’s looking for a glue made out of White people.

The One That Makes You Lock Yourself in Your Room and Cry Until You Die

I am quite partial to commercials that make me want to cry. It reminds me that I’m human. Of course, a lot of people have the issue with companies exploiting our emotions to sell their product. Well, this particular commercial is from Zillow, which if you don’t know is a Real Estate Listing Web site and is actually free to use. It’s not like someone from Zillow is killing your husband in order to force you to sell a house and buy a new one; plus Zillow actually wouldn’t benefit from it. Just enjoy the story that’s being told and eat a sandwich. You’ll feel better.

But I don’t want to go outside today. I need to watch Breaking Bad, damn it.

Oh, no. It’s that time again. The time where I share my incredibly slow progress with random frivolous goals that don’t matter in the end. Be thankful I haven’t had the time to post about organizing my craft supplies that I hardly ever use. The photos would be horrible and inconsistent, and editing photos are a pain in the butt, and they never come out the way I want them to. Seriously, just watching photo shopping videos makes me want to cry.

As everyone already knows, I’ve been trying to watch TV more often. There’s been a little progress here and there. Out of all of the things I’ve been wanting to do, it’s clearly my best success; although I’m still not watching as much TV as I want to. I know. I need to have more fulfilling goals. Oh well. One thing at a time.

What I’ve Finished

13 Reasons Why (Season 1)
Shooter (Season 1)
Rectify (Season 1)

What I’m Currently Working On

Rectify (Season 2)
Breaking Bad (Season 3)
The Blacklist (Season 1)

I used to be a big fan of criminal procedural shows until it just got too boring and clinical for me. I did watch the majority of the first season of The Blacklist, but I’m re-watching it and skipping all of the parts not relating to the main character storylines. I’m such a TV snob, I know, but I do not want to see random people killing random people episode after episode after episode. Like seriously, been there, done that.

What I’m Planning to Watch Next

Awkward (Season 1)
Mr. Robot (Season 1)
Ray Donovan (Season 1)

And a million other shows.

At this point, I’m not even keeping track of the TV shows I want to watch. I just do it impulsively. Sigh. I know. Not a good way to achieve a goal. Oh well. I’m Asian, and that will always be my excuse. If anyone has any TV show recommendations, please let me know. I’m desperate.

OK. Not that desperate.

A man gets off work, gets the mail, pays his bills, eats a steak, and cries for no reason. The end.

It is no secret that I prefer realistic movies that depict everyday situations over international spies trying to stop acts of terrorism, groups of attractive young adults getting killed one horrible death after another or, I don’t know, two middle-aged British comic book nerds trying to protect an alien from being captured by the US government. Apparently, I’m a simple man who is attracted to simple things.

Now, when it comes to movies inspired by true events, that’s a little bit more complicated. The type of movies I like to watch tend to be more light-hearted comedy-dramas that make you smile and be happy that you’re alive, and most movies inspired by true events are, well, not light hearted and generally do not make you smile. Some quick examples: Shattered Glass, The Perfect Storm, A Beautiful Mind. Yeah, all great movies, but not the most uplifting.

I don’t often keep up with upcoming movies but lately, I ‘ve been looking at trailers and looking up upcoming movies. I’ve noticed quite a few biographical movies. All of them appealed to me, not because they’re feel-good, lighthearted comedy dramas, but because they all depict real life situations that people can relate to. All we need now is a movie inspired by the true story of a struggling blogger who’s trying to balance their blog, their job, a relationship and their large collection of Batman figures. Oh, and freaking out every time their internet connection takes more than two seconds to load something. Who wouldn’t want to see that?

The Big Sick
Based on the lives of comedian Kumail Nanjiani and his writer wife Emily Gordon, a Pakistani man struggles with his relationship with a White woman due to the objections of his traditional family, and things get complicated when she suddenly falls ill and is hospitalized.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a romantic comedy inspired by true events. It’s a breath of fresh air, since most movies inspired by true events are heavy dramas that focus on situations that, yes, could happen in real life but isn’t necessarily as relatable. This movie is filled with them: falling in love with someone and struggling to make the relationship work, trying to please your parents but yourself as well, race issues, coping with health issues, etc. Even though it is a movie that depicts everyday life, it stands out and warms your heart. But not warm enough for it to burst out of your chest.

Stronger
Inspired by true events, a man has to cope with losing both of his legs after a bomb goes off at the Boston Marathon.

OK, I have to admit something. Although I am, of course, well aware of the Boston Marathon bombing, I was not aware of this particular story. I’m drawn to this particularly because I enjoy stories of people dealing with difficult situations. This will definitely be difficult to watch though.

I do have to admit that I was distracted throughout the entire trailer because I thought Jake Gyllenhaal had a strong resemblance to Steve Carell in this movie. Well, right now he doesn’t because Steve Carell now has gray hair and apparently Jimmy Fallon is going for the Mr. Potato Head look.

Thank You for Your Service
Based on the biographical book of the same name by David Finkel, a group of soldiers struggle with returning back from a tour in Iraq.

Based on the trailer, this looks to be like yet another generic military movie about soldiers unable to move on from their tragic past. Again, though, I’m a sucker for a story with a protagonist struggling with a problem, especially one that’s more internal than external. Ugh. I know I’m horrible. I would rather watch a movie about, let’s say a woman struggling with an alcohol addiction over a sexy spy doing a sexy mission with a team of sexy spies. I’m tired of sexy. I want raw emotional excruciating pain that makes you scream in the pouring rain and wish for a quick death that will never happen. Is that so hard to ask for?

Oops. I accidentally made a post about rainbow colored things.

A common theme here on this blog is how out of touch I am with technology. I am one of the very, very, very few people in the entire world who does not have a Smart phone. I also do not keep up with the news, have a TV or listen to music as much as everyone else does.

Not surprisingly, when there’s a fad or cultural phenomenon, I often don’t participate. There are some that I like. Harlem Shake videos are cute. 13 Reasons Why is a good show. Podcasts are a constant necessity for me to live and function as a normal human being. However, there are just some things that I don’t understand, like this music video.

KONY2012

OK, so I didn’t even know what this was until, well, five seconds ago. I remember it was plastered all over YouTube by annoying people who barely knew what they were doing. When I saw a sea of “KONY2012” flooding YouTube, I honestly thought, “Wow, I don’t know who this KONY person is, but they must be a good rapper for all of these kids to be obsessed with him.” Yeah, I know. I can feel you eating a grilled cheese sandwich and silently laughing at me while sipping your ginger ale.

Pokémon Go

As I do not have a Smart phone, so I can’t use aps nor have I substituted texting for basic human interaction. So naturally, when almost everyone in the entire world was obsessed with catching Pokémon, I was just being my usual self and silently judging everyone while I stared at blank space doing nothing and waiting for the fad to pass. A second later, everyone just stopped playing. I guess they wanted to go back to texting full time.

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

I know this was for a wonderful cause, but I personally did not see the entertainment or educational value of throwing ice water all over your body. It was supposed to create awareness and raise money from charity. I would rather do it the old fashioned way and just read a pamphlet and send a check. If I wanted to do something fun, I would dive into a pool of chocolate pudding.

I don’t know why this video exists, but I’m glad it does.

Can I just lie in a bathtub filled with chocolate pudding and not slit my wrists?

Since 13 Reasons Why came out, there have been lots and lots of controversy. There have been concerns about whether or not the show glorifies suicide and encourages teens and young adults to kill themselves. Now, mental health and suicide are very touchy subjects. As an Asian, I was taught to not talk about anything personal ever. Like seriously. Even discussing what I ate for dinner last night is too personal for my parents. And here I am with a personal blog on the Internet.

Many people have already discussed their issues on the subject of whether or not the show is appropriate for teenagers and whether or not we should be more open to talking about mental health and suicide, so I’m not going to go in depth on these issues. What I am going to say is even though it’s an uncomfortable, it is something we have to talk about in society. We can’t sweep all of it under the rug and forget about it. The rug will be lumpy, and lumpy rugs are not on trend right now.

If you haven’t noticed already, I am a fan of obscure details, so why not focus on obscure details on a controversial show that makes parents want to make them lock their kids in the room, throw away the key and just ignore the fact that they’ve held their kids captive against their will.

I have some burning questions that I want to explore and think about. I usually tend to obsess over details that don’t matter in the end. Now, none of these are major spoilers. They’re more like small details. If you don’t want to be spoiled though, go watch a Michelle Branch video. Here, I will make it easier for you.

Are you happy now?

Here are the burning insignificant questions I had while watching 13 Reasons Why.

Why did Hannah consider putting Skye on the tapes?

In the scene where Hannah makes the list of people she wants to put on the tapes, Skye was one of the people she considered but later crossed off. OK, what? Hannah and Skye had very little interaction with each other. I’m surprised Hannah was even aware of Skye’s existence. Plus, Skye really had no impact on Hannah’s life. Skye was the one who had issues with Hannah, but it seemed to have more to do with Clay than Hannah. And, even so, Skye did not voice her opinions and feelings about Hannah and Clay until after Hannah’s death.

What were Clay’s nightmares about?

OK, so this could lead to a future spoiler. As of right now, it hasn’t lead to some shocking revelation, like Clay having multiple personalities or he’s actually Hannah Montana. Although, what a plot twist would that be? When Clay is beginning to go in a downward spiral, Clay’s mother is concerned about his nightmares coming back, casually hands him a bottle of unknown medication and asks him if he wants to go back to some mysterious doctor we know nothing about. OK, if you’re going to bring up things like recurring nightmares, mysterious doctors and psychiatric pills, we demand more information. Otherwise, I’m going to think Clay’s nightmares involved being trapped in a Nickelback music video.

How did Kat and Hannah become close friends so quickly?

When Hannah is giving Clay his orientation at the theater they worked at, Hannah says that she’s new to the town and has only been in town for two months. Later on, we are introduced to Kat, Hannah’s only friend at the time who’s leaving right before the new school year. Hannah acts as if Kat and her have been friends for years but at most, they’ve only been friends for two months. That’s an awfully short time to be close friends with someone. There was no indication that they knew each other before Hannah moved, especially because it was already established that Kat and Clay grew up together in the same town when they talked about the close in Kat’s birthday party she had when was a child. Also, it was not mentioned how Kat and Hannah met. Did Hannah just hang out at the parking lot at her parent’s store and Kat walked up to her and was like, “Hey, let’s be best friends. By the way I’m moving in two months,” and Hannah was just like, “Sure.”?

My idea for a new TV show: A group of genius vampire misfits hunting down vampire serial killers, and it’s a musical comedy

I have long since not been able to keep up with what’s currently show on mainstream television since I’ve been relying on streaming services and DVDs. I have to admit, now is not the best time to look up what’s currently being shown on TV right now because the spring TV season has ended, and we’re approaching the wonderful voice that is summer television. I didn’t want to spend a whole lot of time to see what primetime shows are currently on the air, so I just went through the Web sites of the five basic TV networks here in the US, Fox, NBC, CBC, ABC and CW, and just casually browsed the shows list. I’m a lazy Asian, I know.

For the most part, I was familiar with the majority of the shows, besides a handful of sitcoms that I was honestly not interested in finding more information about. For some reason, I was surprised that Scorpion is still on the air. I liked it, but I haven’t heard much about the show after the first season.

Throughout the years, there have been some trends with TV shows that have since come and gone. I don’t really follow enough current TV shows to even have an opinion about what the current trends are but it seems we’re heading toward an era of more comedy and less, you know, killing people. I prefer sarcasm over a pile of dead bodies.

“Normal” Criminal Procedurals

Criminal procedurals is more of a genre than a trend, and they’re staying indefinitely. I have noticed, though, that we’re taking a departure from the usual criminal procedurals like Law and Order and CSI and moving more toward the supernatural, like izombie and Grimm. I guess we got tired of people killing other people that we were like, let’s throw in some zombies into the mix and see what happens.

Vampires/Werewolves

OK, I have to admit that when I saw the first Twilight movie many, many, many years ago, I liked it. I gave into peer pressure and decided that Twilight and vampires were beneath me. Now, I did have an advantage here since I was a guy, and I was never into sparkly vampires or half-naked werewolves to begin with but when True Blood came out, I was hooked. I mean seriously, a telepathic woman and a vampire with a mysterious past? Yes please.

Serial Killers

In the mid-200s, serial killers were heavily featured in television, specifically on Criminal Minds and Dexter. This is despite even back then, serial killers were not as active as they used to be. That, or they have gotten better at killing people. I don’t know. I always thought there was a huge disconnect between these shows and what was actually going on in the real world. I’m, of course, not expecting a real life serial killer who kills other serial killers. At the same time, though, I don’t want to be “Huh, this type of thing never happens anymore. We’re not living in the 90s.”

Oh no. I see that angry mob of Asians with bamboo torches again.

Asian Guy Pretending to be White Insults White Guys and the White Things They Like

I do not consider myself as a very masculine guy. I do not care about sports. I do not work out. I don’t know a thing about cars. I, of course, feign my masculinity by collecting knives. I then lose my masculinity little by little every time I post a Michelle Branch song. So, that is why I am going with something slightly more contemporary and edgy.

I’ve always believed that I had a wide taste in music. Well, I can sum up my music taste into three categories: Sad folk songs, feminine pop songs from pop singers who have long since disappeared into obscurity, possibly to coffee shops in the midwest and a genre I like to call “White guy music.”

Well, now is the appropriate time for a mob of angry white men to chase me down with torches but I’m actually being quite broad here. To me “White guy music” is pretty much any rock song sung by a White guy or a group of White guys. OK, maybe I’m being a tad racist. But, eh, I like calling it White guy music. Sue me.

Hmm. Now I’m wondering what White people think Asian Americans listen to. Perhaps, in their heads, we’re listening to K-pop boy bands or we’re sitting in a circle holding hands while listening to the soothing sounds of monks chanting. I don’t know. I’m not a stereotypical Asian. I listen to sad French pop songs.

And I’m not even joking.

Hmm. Is it possible to have Hello Kitty Wallpaper and not have a Hello Kitty themed room?

When you’re a collector of everything, it can be difficult to decorate. I struggle with the delicate balance of displaying the collectibles I want to display and my space looking as if it could be on an episode of Hoarders. I may be a collector of everything, but I do not collect dead cats.

Not wanting to completely overwhelm myself, I’ve been taking it one tiny step at a time. My ultimate goal for my space is to keep it functional and simple but, of course, I want to display my collectibles. My problem has always been I want to display everything. Over the years, I’ve streamlined my displays. Even though they are aesthetically more pleasing to look at it, it still makes my space look cold and empty.

I applaud people who are able to live a minimalist lifestyle. I am not one of those people. I enjoy collecting and if I need something, I like that I actually have it and that I don’t have to buy it. Collecting brings me joy. A room with a bed and a plant does not bring me joy.

On the other hand, I also admire those who clearly have a passion and have no regrets about proudly displaying it. I have a kawaii collection that I love, but am still slightly embarrassed of given that I am a man in my early 30s. I know. I know. You’re all going to be, “You like what you like. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed.” I’ve gotten to the point where I’m not displaying any of my kawaii collection. They’re stashed away in two storage bins in my closet. Most of my Kawaii collection consists of stationery anyway, and I would rather not live in a space that looks like an office supply store for 11-year-old girls.

For now, I’ve limited displaying my collectibles to two areas: the top of a small bookcase and a display cabinet. I love the display cabinet because it’s really the only piece of furniture that I have that I can display my collectibles. As usual, everything else has been taken hostage by my books. I’ve been bothered how dark the inside is and you can barely see my treasured Batman action figures.

I knew tap lights and Command strips was my best option. I had tried this years ago with another piece of furniture, and it didn’t work out. The tap lights fell within hours, and I just gave up. I was sick and tired of my display case looking like a black hole, so I bought new tap lights and Command strips and hoped for the best. It’s been a solid two weeks, and they haven’t come crashing down yet. Now I feel confident enough to finally install that Hello Kitty wallpaper I’ve had my eye on forever.

Much better. Let there be light for Batman.

Here’s my video pitch for BuzzFeed: A group of YouTube commenters who are actually witty and charming eating cake, or possibly some sort of fight to the death

You know society is digitally progressing at a rapid rate when you’re starting to be nostalgic over YouTube videos. No, I’m not talking about perky 19-year-olds talking about their makeup routines. I’m too beautiful for makeup. I am talking about BuzzFeed and similar channels where they take groups of people and have them do some sort of task. It ranges from eating Indian food to watching Bridezillas. It can go to the extreme like, I don’t know, watching porn with porn stars. No, I’m not going to link to that video. Instead, here’s a very touching Vienna Teng song. Enjoy, and you’re welcome.

Now, naturally, while browsing through the countless sea of videos from what I’m going to call shameless content mills, I went with the very familiar theme of nostalgia. The first two are obvious. PSAs remind me of my childhood and, well, I’m Asian. The last one, eh. I knew I wanted to link to a BuzzFeed video, but I wasn’t naturally drawn to any of them. In a quick panic, I chose the German food taste test one because I thought it was funny, and I took a German class in college five years ago. Eh, it counts.